May 18, 2022


BG’s Positively Speaking

I Can See Clearly Now!

How often have we told ourselves or others, “I just can’t see my way to doing ….whatever it was that we were contemplating.” If we add in all those around us who have voiced the same feeling, it’s safe to assume that we have heard the phrase many times. So often, life deals us blows that leave us confused and in pain. We feel bad, and we wonder if we can get through it all, The obstacles seem to be insurmountable …. But read on.

Most people will recognize the title above as a Jimmy Cliff song:

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way.

Gone are the dark clouds that had me down. It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day.

Oh yes, I can make it now the pain is gone. All the bad feelings have disappeared.

Here is the rainbow I’ve been praying for. It’s gonna’ be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day.

Look around; there’s nothing but blue skies. Look straight ahead; there’s nothing but blue skies.”

These words are the hope we need for the future. We need to ask ourselves when we feel at our lowest are; How can we see clearly, see through the rain and clouds of our lives? How can we get rid of the bad feelings and the pain, find that rainbow, and make our life so that we see those blue skies around and ahead of us?

With open eyes focussed on the future, not the past,

with an open mind that embraces change and new ideas,

With an open heart that is filled with love and compassion.

That’s how we can see clearly.


Brain teaser

This moral/ethical dilemma was reportedly once used as part of a job application. Apparently, the candidate who was hired had no trouble coming up with his answer. Some of you may remember this puzzle from the Bruce Willis movie “16 Blocks”.

You’re driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night. passing a bus stop, you see three people waiting for the bus:

  1. An old lady looking like she is about to take her last breath.
  2. An old friend who once saved your life.
  3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about meeting.
There’s only room for one passenger in your car. So which one would you offer a ride to? Click for answer
The Applicant simply answered: ‘I would give the car keys to my friend and let him take the elderly lady to the hospital. Then, I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.’ Sometimes, we gain more if we think Outside the Box.

She Cooked Dinner

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while cooking dinner.

So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.


Doctor Visit

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit before the birth of their first child. After everything was checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, he dug out his magnifying glass to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.”


Traffic Circle

One ditsy friend to another: “I failed the driving test. I entered the traffic circle, and the sign said ’30 mph,’ so I drove 30 times around.” The other friend responds sympathetically, “You probably counted wrong.”


Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

1. What German battleship was scuttled by the royal navy, off Montevideo, in 1939?
The Graf Spee.
2. Michael played a surrealist demon in what 1988 movie?
Beetlejuice.
3. In 1735, engraver William Hogarth produced what famous work?
The Rake’s Progress.
4. What would a five-pointed echinoderm be better known as?
A Starfish.
5. What is Japan’s indigenous religion?
Shinto.
6. What dictator overthrew Milton Obote and was then deposed in 1979?
Idi Amin.
7. In what movie did Sydney Poitier star as a teacher in London, UK?
To Sir With Love.
What US. City is in the song title '----------- Lineman'?
Wichita.

Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19: Warm weather is fast approaching. Start planning how you will be spending those lazy, hazy, crazy summer days.

Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20: There is increased intensity in your relationship. You may feel pressured to make some decisions. Take your own time.

Gemini May 21 – June 20: Your funds are running low. Top them up with additional part-time income from a seasonal type job.

Cancer June 21 – July 22: A more meaningful ambition will surface and energize you. You’ll know what to do when the time comes.

Leo, July 23 – Aug 22: You will be on the road more than anticipated. Before heading out of town, put your finances in order.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22: Your social calendar fills up. Replenish your wardrobe. You want to look your best when meeting new friends.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22: You are feeling overloaded. Take a break now, before you are forced to. The holidays are still some time away.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21: Move forward with caution. You need to do your due diligence before making any major purchase decisions.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21: Don’t sugarcoat your admonishment of family members. Set the record straight, truthfully, calmly and without malice.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19: Not all things can’t be explained. Don’t get yourself in a knot over something that will not matter next week.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18: A new career could be on its way. Seek advice. Decisions that you make now will affect your future.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20:  Much love surrounds you. It comes from many directions, and you benefit in many ways. Appreciate and enjoy it.


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Rosie’s Cupboard

Rosie buys a flat-pack self-assembly cupboard from her local Home Depot store. At home, Rosie reads the instructions carefully, counts the pieces, then assembles them in the bedroom. It looks really great, and she is delighted. Now, Rosie lives near a railway line, and as the train passes, the cupboard collapses. Undaunted, she re-reads the instructions and reassembles the cupboard. Another train passes, and the whole cupboard collapses again. Rosie is frustrated and thinks she must have done something “wrong .”So she ‘phones the customer service department. She is told That they’ll send along a repairman to take a look.

The repairman arrives and assembles the cupboard. Again, a train passes, and the cupboard collapses. Completely baffled by this unexpected event, the man decides to reassemble the cupboard and sit inside it to see whether he can find out what causes the cupboard to collapse. At this point, Rosie’s husband comes home, sees the cupboard and says, “Oh, that’s a splendid-looking cupboard,” and he opens it to look inside. The repairman, wondering how to explain his position in Rosie’s bedroom cupboard, blurts out, “You probably won’t believe me, but I’m standing here waiting for a train.”


Am I Adopted

Fred came home from college in tears. “Mom, am I adopted?” “No, of course not,” replied his mother. “Why would you think such a thing?” Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. He had no match with any of his relatives and strong matches for a family who lived on the other side of the city. Perturbed, his mother called her husband. “Honey, Fred has done a DNA test, and… and… I don’t know how to say this… he may not be our son.” “Well, obviously!” he replied. “What do you mean?” “It was your idea in the first place,” her husband continued. “You remember that first night in the hospital when the baby did nothing but scream and cry and scream and cry. On and on. And you asked me to change him.”  “I picked a good one, I reckon. Ever so proud of Fred.”


Strange But True

Burial At Sea: If you are one of those that romanticize about being buried at sea, the company Eternal Reefs offers an innovative solution. It mixes a person’s ashes with concrete to create a “pearl”. To which loved ones can etch personal messages, hand-prints or (environmentally friendly) mementos. The pearl is then encased in a “reef ball” and dropped into the sea. Where it provides a new habitat for fish and other sea life, helping encourage a vibrant ecosystem. The circle of life at work!

Early Vacuum Cleaners: One of the earliest known vacuum cleaners was so large that it had to be hauled from house to house via a horse-drawn carriage. Its giant hoses were popped through the windows of customers’ homes. Then, a gas-powered motor generated the suction that pulled the dirt and debris into a glass container where onlookers could gawk at the volume of filth coming from their neighbours’ homes.


The Last Word

Life is too short to be serious all the time.
So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me ….
…and I’ll laugh at you!


 

One comment on “Aurora

  1. Javed Khan on said:

    This is an excellent publication.
    Keep up the great work!

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