December 11, 2024
BG’s Positively Speaking
Click To Delete
People today have mastered the art of using the delete button on our computer keyboard. We use it to delete our junk mailbox, eliminate OLD emails, and eliminate useless or outdated information. When we click delete, something else happens: we help our computer run better and perform the tasks we need faster and more efficiently. We have cleared all the accumulated, unwanted information from our memory, leaving it free to concentrate on the important things we need to do now.
Is there a lesson we can learn from this?
You bet there is! We can function more efficiently when we learn how to use our “personal” delete button. We will be able to achieve more, making us feel more positive and creating the better life that we seek. The secret lies in recognizing what we must delete so they don’t take up permanent residence. Here are a few things to help move you toward that better life.
When someone says something negative about you, your abilities, options, dreams, and achievements. Don’t let them determine who you are or what you can become…. CLICK “DELETE”
Next time someone does something that annoys you, hurts you, insults you or tries to get you angry. Treat them like the junk mail they are. Don’t allow them to get under your skin…. CLICK “DELETE”
Whenever you hear someone talk negatively about your family, friends, associates, or boss, Let their words fall into the garbage bin. Don’t let their opinions dominate the way you think. Develop your own relationships and your own opinions…. just click “DELETE.”
Create a BETTER life……… Learn how to click “DELETE”!
We invite you to submit your favourite joke, quiz or interesting trivia for possible inclusion in future editions of The Perkolator. Send To: bg@theperkolator.ca
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Extreme Golf
Andre Tolme, 35, finished his last round of golf in Mongolia, losing 509 golf balls and hitting 290 over par. His course? The entire length of Mongolia, where each “hole” was up to 179,222 metres long. The course took 9 months to traverse Mongolian Steppes with nothing but a Jeep, a tent and a three-iron.
His caddy drove the Jeep and supplied water along the course, which followed the land once ruled by Genghis Khan. Along the way, he encountered bubonic plague-carrying marmots, constant heat, 65 km/h gusts of wind, and howling wolves. Tolme, a civil engineer from New Hampshire, divided the 1,986-kilometre length of Mongolia into 18 holes – a course he estimated at having a par of 11,880. His final scorecard shows 290 over par, with a “handicap” score of 506. Why did he do this? Officially, Tolme stated that he wanted to raise Mongolia’s awareness, pioneer the sport of extreme golf, and expand his “artistic imagination.” I suspect it had something to do with his new catchphrase, “If Genghis Khan. So can I.”
Editors Quote Book
“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.”
— Buddha
One And The Same?
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?” “Of course not, dear,” replied the mother. “Why would you think that?” “The tombstone back there said, Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.”
Trivia Quiz
(Click Question For Answer)
Your Horoscope
For Amusement Only
Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19: Revise your budget to allow you to save more. Prepare now for the unexpected. You could be glad you planned ahead.
Taurus Apr 20 – May 20: Begin those new projects immediately. They could take longer than you have planned. Give yourself a head start.
Gemini May 21 – Jun 20: Be careful not to take out your frustrations on innocent bystanders. Stay in complete control of your emotions.
Cancer Jun 21 – Jul 22: Steer clear of disputes between those around you. Let them solve their own problems. Go and enjoy your own life.
Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22: Take professional advice before signing legal documents. It’s better to be safe than sorry. A mid-week romance is possible.
Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22: Take advantage of the holiday season, visit new places, and meet new people. The one you are looking for is out there.
Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22: Networking with friends and associates could pay dividends. Put yourself out there and make things happen. You never know!
Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21: The start of the week holds much promise. Keep up the productivity as the week goes by. Stick with it.
Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21: Show your appreciation to your closest friends. Make sure they know how much you appreciate their friendship.
Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19: Change what you can and stop worrying about things out of your control. You’ll sleep better.
Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18: Keep your defences up; someone could have a grudge to settle. Stand your ground, and you’ll win out.
Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20: As the year ends, think about your future. What do you want to be? Where are you going? Make plans now.
Two Canadian Icons
This weeks video is of two canadian icons in entertainment.,being challenged by a third icon to do somrthing most of us would not attempt. Click and Enjoy.
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Pigging Out
The aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of the pigpen when the elderly woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. “Let’s have a party, Jethro,” she suggested. “Let’s kill the pig.” The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Elvira,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”
Flubbed Headlines
- 11 High Students Score Perfect Grades.
- Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents.
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
- Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly.
- Cuts Could Hurt Animals.
- Nude Scene Done Tastefully in Radio Play.
- Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon.
- Study Says Snoring Drivers Have More Accidents.
- Real Estate Executive Sold on City Market.
Love And Marriage
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later, she said, “Then you used to kiss me.” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later, she said, “Then you used to bite my neck.” Angrily, he threw back the covers and got out of bed. “Where are you going?” she asked. “To get my teeth!”
Two Brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet, and after a while, they got to know each other so well they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom. The other the groom broom. The bride’s broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom’s broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, “I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!” “Impossible!” said the groom broom. “We haven’t even swept together!”
Late Arrival
One golfer asked his friend, “Why are you so late for your tee time?” His friend replied, “It’s Sunday. I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf.” “Yes,” continued the friend, “but that still doesn’t tell me why you are so late.” “Well,” said the fellow, “It took over 25 tosses to get it right!”
The Audit
During a recent company computer password audit, it was found that one secretary was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy. When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.
Just Wonderin’
- Do gymnasts get tipsy from uneven bars?
- Is archery an ‘arrowing experience?
- When men and women compete against each other in an equestrian event, is that called cross-dressage?
- Are the losers in fencing ‘foiled’?
The Last Word
The greatest danger to our future does not rest with the politicians,
It rests in our own apathy toward it.