March 13, 2024


BG’s Positively Speaking

Making The Count Down Count

Doesn’t it feel that we live our lives in a perpetual countdown? There’s always something we are counting down to. We count the months to our next vacation, weeks to our birthday, days to the next game, hours to date with the one we love and the minutes to the end of our workday. But the grand-daddy of them all is the New Year’s Eve countdown. Millions of people worldwide participate in this annual ritual, spending hours, often outside in freezing weather, to welcome the hope, promise and potential of a new year. Most of those millions return to the same old grind a few days into the new year. The coming year’s hope, promise and potential are left behind with the balloons, streamers and noisemakers. A few days later, most of those who made resolutions will have forgotten them or postponed them to next year.

Imagine what could be possible if we harnessed all that enthusiasm and excitement of New Year’s Eve and applied it to our lives….. TODAY. Do you think it would make a difference in your life? Of course, it would! Applying that energy, excitement and enthusiasm to MAKING the coming year better would have an extraordinary effect. When you apply that amount of power, consistently and persistently, to anything you do, it will yield results you have only dreamed of. As the end of the first quarter of 2024 comes to a close, ask yourself, “Where do I want to be and what do I want to achieve by the end of this year?”

Then wrap that goal in the same enthusiasm you had on New Year’s Eve and see the potential of the year ahead fulfilled ……………….

Make Your Countdown Count!


Another Wife?

At the pre-birth class for couples who’d already had at least one child, the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. “Some parents tell the older child, ‘We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.’ “But think about that for a second. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’?” One of the women immediately asked, “Does she cook?”



Short & Quick

  •  I asked my friend when his birthday was, and he said, “March 1st”.
    So I walked around the room like a soldier and asked him again.
  • I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me.
    He said: “you’re fired.”
  • Daughter: “How do I look, Dad?”
    Me: “With your eyes, sweetie.”

Editors Quote Book

“Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers”

—Voltaire


Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

1. What is the national flower of Japan?
The Cherry Blossom.
2. Who discovered penicillin?
Alexander Flemming.
3. Which instrument measures earthquakes?
Seismograph.
4. Who wrote the novel 'Pride and Prejudice'?
Jane Austin.
5. What is the largest species of penguin?
Emperor.
6. The official currency of Russia is ------- --------?
The Russian Ruble.
7. Who Painted 'The Last Supper'?
Leonardo da Vinci.
8. What makes up (approx.) 80% of our brain’s volume?
Water.

 


Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

ARIES (March 21- April 19):   Your ability to create new ideas is noticed. It’s up to you to play your cards with skill and confidence.

TAURUS (April 20- May 20): A significant expense will poke a hole in your budget. Refrain from those discretionary expenses until you recover.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20):  Romance blooms. What seemed ordinary turns out to be extraordinary. Enjoy all that life has to offer you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):  Check in with a good friend. Maybe arrange a weekend together. Renew your friendship, and reminisce about old times.

LEO (July 23- August 22): Business will pick up after a prolonged slump. Slow at first but gaining speed as we move through spring.

VIRGO (August 23- September 22): You will find some stress during the coming weeks. Keep your priorities straight, and you’ll be okay.

LIBRA (September 23- October 22): Chores must be completed before you can relax. Take care of your responsibilities. First things first, then have fun.

SCORPIO (October 23- November 21): Beware spending on things you can easily do without. Save it for that rainy day. You never know.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22- December 21): A communication arrives, read it carefully and then respond immediately. Be careful how you react to it,

CAPRICORN (December 22- January 19): Your health should be your primary concern. Check with your physician and follow their instructions for a quick recovery.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some adults act like children, and you’re dealing with one right now. Stand firm and be patient.

PISCES (February 19- March 20): When the unexpected happens, don’t panic; take a deep breath and start to put things right again. Methodically.



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Police Report

John McKee, 51, of Vincennes, Indiana, landed in the Knox County jail on Aug. 23 after a state trooper observed him driving a Power Wheels Jeep around 9 p.m. on a city street. According to police, the toy car didn’t have lights or reflectors. McKee failed a field sobriety test, The Smoking Gun reported. He told the officer that he had crystal meth and marijuana in his system. A trooper said he was released on bond, and Troy’s Towing collected his fancy ride.


Two Solid Hours

Sitting next to a man on an airplane, the lady had told him about her grandchildren for two solid hours. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. “Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?”


Ancestry

“My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great,” said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, “How far back does your family go?””i don’t know,” replied Miriam, “all of our records were lost in the flood”.


The Last Word

Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand, which essentially makes skyscrapers really, really tall sandcastles.


8 comments on “South Muskoka

  1. Howard Brooks on said:

    Today’s edition is the same as last weeks.

  2. Please don’t change anything, I look forward to my weekly paper

  3. YKW McKenna on said:

    Why, when I’m already a subscriber must the pop up SUBSCRIBE for double your pleasure pop up in the first place? Oh, I just realized, you can’t have pop ups in your printed newsletter.
    Silly me.

    • mark on said:

      As well. Without being “logged into” a website, there’s no way for it to determine who you are. SO it displays for everyone 🙂

  4. Jessica Thibodeau on said:

    Lately your articles seem to be very anti-woman. I’m most certainly going to stop reading!

    • Brian Garvey on said:

      Good day Jessica. I do hope that you are still reading The Perkolator. Although you don’t say which articles you found objectionable, I can assure you that we, at The Perkolator, are not anti-women. In fact, if we look back to past issues men are the Butt of more jokes and stories than are women. In our world we need to find the humour in our words, habits, situations, and actions more often, whether we are male of female. The ability to laugh at ourselves and our humanness allows us to cope better with the stresses in life. I hope that you will consider continuing to read The Perkolator, understanding that we are only joking and mean no offense.
      Best Regards.
      Brian G

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