December 04, 2024


An Old Story Retold

Over the years, several versions of the story I am about to relate have emerged. The story has lessons about life that we can all heed.

The Monkey’s Fist:  Merchants in the markets of Marrakesh had a problem with a monkey stealing shiny objects from their stalls. The monkey then scampered away and hid the items in a place the merchants could not discover. Every attempt to capture the monkey failed. Then, one of the merchants thought of using an ancient way of trapping monkeys; he drilled a hole in a coconut, just big enough for the monkey’s unclenched fist. Fastening a piece of heavy string around the coconut, the merchant secured the other end around the leg of his stall and waited. When the monkey showed up, the merchant caught its attention and “accidentally” dropped a shiny object into the coconut. Waiting for the right moment, the monkey made a dash to the coconut, stuck its hand inside and closed its fist around the object. As the merchant approached, the monkey struggled to get his fist out of the coconut but couldn’t. Suddenly, the string around the coconut slipped off, and the monkey escaped. A couple of weeks later, the monkey was found dead, with its hand still inside the coconut. In death, it had unclasped its fist, and the hand could freely exit the coconut shell, revealing the shiny object inside. The monkey, unable to forage for food with only one hand, had died because he wouldn’t let go of a cheap glass bead.

Like the monkey, we tend to close our fists to avoid losing what we already have, even though we could have something better IF WE JUST LET GO! And,

Grab A Hold Of The Better Things In Life



We invite you to submit your favourite joke, quiz or interesting trivia for possible inclusion in future Perkolators. Send To: bg@theperkolator.ca

(
Click Here)



A Death In Algonquin

It was around noon on Jul 8, 1917, when Tom Thomson, one of the most celebrated Canadian painters of the 20th century, was last seen alive. He was starting on a fishing trip on Algonquin Parks Canoe Lake by himself. Having worked in the park as a fishing guide and fire ranger and pursuing his love of painting, he was very familiar with the park. Several hours after his departure, his canoe was seen empty and drifting near the dock he had left from. His body was discovered floating in the lake more than a week later. His death has taken the up-and-coming artist into the realms of a cultural phenomenon. His paintings can be found in galleries across Canada. Exhibitions of his work attract significant international viewings. More recently, his paintings have sold for over one million dollars at auction. To this day, how Thomson died, who found his body, its condition, and even its final resting place all remain unknown. There are many theories about what happened to him, but no one has yet come up with a definitive, provable explanation.


Bad For You

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food contains high MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realize the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, one thing is the most dangerous of all, and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”


The Bus Tour

A group of Americans were travelling by tour bus through Switzerland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through cheese making, explaining that the cheesemaker used goat’s milk. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. “These,” she explained, “are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.” She asked, “What do you do with your old goats in America?” A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”


Only In The U.S.A.

A woman from Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. The fall occurred while she tried to sneak through the window in the lady’s room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. The court awarded $12,000 plus dental expenses.


Editors Quote Book

“There are two great days in a person’s life, the day we are born, and the day we discover why.”

William Barclay


Chain Of Love

……..Steve McDonough of the Ottowa Region submitted this week’s video. It’s one of those foot-tapping country songs with a story to tell and a message we all need to hear. Not just at this time of year but all year round. I hear many people wishing we could make our world a better place. I reckon we could start right here by listening to this message.  Recorded some time back by Charlie Pride, this version is by Mike Denver.


World Capitals Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

1. What is the national flower of Austria?
Edelweiss.
2. What does an 'H' in a circle represent on an Ordnance Survey map?
Hospital.
3. What is 20% of 40?
Eight.
4. Which word can precede all of the following: power, storm, wash?
Brain.
5. What was the first name of aviation pioneer Orville Wright's brother?
Wilbur.
6. What does a Geiger counter detect?
Radioactivity.
7. What word can mean 'to have a sleep' or how fabric 'lies'?
Nap.
8. By what name is solid carbon dioxide better known?
Dry Ice. 

 


Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19:  You have reached the pinnacle. It’s time to claim the prize. Celebrate with those who helped you get there.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20:  Good luck is heading your way. Please take advantage of it. You have worked long and hard to get it.

Gemini May 21 – Jun 20:  Be happy for the blessings of others. They will be happy for you when your time arrives, and it surely will.

Cancer Jun 21 – Jul 22:  This is a good time to enjoy the festive season before it’s over. A new romance needs some time.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22:  New opportunities open up for you when a long-time co-worker resigns. Starting something big.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22:  Promises you made earlier in the year must be fulfilled. Meet your commitments with enthusiasm and energy.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22:  This is a good time to start giving your home a “do-over .”There are plenty of decorating bargains out there.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21:  Take a chance on love. Little time may be left to ‘close the deal’ with that special someone.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21:  Be original when presenting ideas to others. Stay with the positive and avoid negativity. It will pay you dividends.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19:  Don’t make any hasty financial decisions. Do your research thoroughly to avoid getting taken in.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18:  Listen to your family. Their ideas count, even if they seem a little “off-base. You’ll be glad you listened.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20:   Be thankful that all is well at work. Job satisfaction is important to you. Others will show their appreciation.



The Perkolator On-Line

Published Weekly with More Features + Videos


Delivered FREE To Your Inbox


 


CLICK HERE and SUBSCRIBE NOW



A Skydiving Lesson

During class, the skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any first-timer questions. One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?” The jump master looked at him and, In perfect deadpan, answered, “The rest of your life.”


Observations About Life

  • Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairperson.
  • Those who live closest arrive at the latest.
  • Those with the best advice offer no advice.
  • To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen.
  • To attract maximum attention, it’s hard to beat a big, dumb mistake.
  • To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

The ERR(or) Of One’s Ways

  • To err is human. To admit it is a blunder.
  • To err is human. To blame it on someone else is even more human.
  • To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.
  • To err is human. To forgive is not company policy.


It Seems Logical To Me!

A conservation biologist at Australia’s University of New South Wales and his team headed to Botswana to paint eyeballs on cows’ rear ends. As a result, they found a solution to the problem of farmers killing endangered lions to keep them away from their cows. Researchers hypothesized that since lions hunt by stealth and tend to pass up kills if the prey spots them, painting on eyeballs would do the trick, and the lions would choose other prey. And they did. (For that same reason, woodcutters in India wear masks painted with faces — backward — for protection against tigers.)


The Last Word

The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT.


10 Comments

  1. Dave says:

    WELL DONE !
    The May 1st edition was the best I’ve read since becoming a follower. Positively Speaking……logical and smack on, the quiz, difficult but for the first time ever I’m 8 for 8! The bog island vid…who’d a thunk?
    I can’t be all positive though.
    The sand which board with I b4 e was a tough one for my aging eyes.
    Lastly, could your font be slightly larger with the adds just a wee bit smaller.
    So many magazines, internet articles, etc have yet to learn that their main audience is aging and eyes are not what they were of days past.
    Keep up the good work.
    PS: Adds work. I’ve used more than one company you’ve listed with total satisfaction (politicians excepted)

    • mark says:

      Hi Dave. Firstly thanks so much for the comments. I’m not the writer of this stuff just the web guy. While reading anything that you find is too small on the internet generally all you need to do is hit your Control and the plus key or minus key together to increase or decrease the size of things. I’m afraid if we reduce the ads any smaller they won’t be readable and of course it’s due to their investment in the Perkolator that the publication can actually exist 🙂 Happy Spring.

  2. Howard Brooks says:

    Today’s edition is the same as last weeks.

  3. Clara says:

    Please don’t change anything, I look forward to my weekly paper

  4. YKW McKenna says:

    Why, when I’m already a subscriber must the pop up SUBSCRIBE for double your pleasure pop up in the first place? Oh, I just realized, you can’t have pop ups in your printed newsletter.
    Silly me.

    • mark says:

      As well. Without being “logged into” a website, there’s no way for it to determine who you are. SO it displays for everyone 🙂

  5. Jessica Thibodeau says:

    Lately your articles seem to be very anti-woman. I’m most certainly going to stop reading!

    • Brian Garvey says:

      Good day Jessica. I do hope that you are still reading The Perkolator. Although you don’t say which articles you found objectionable, I can assure you that we, at The Perkolator, are not anti-women. In fact, if we look back to past issues men are the Butt of more jokes and stories than are women. In our world we need to find the humour in our words, habits, situations, and actions more often, whether we are male of female. The ability to laugh at ourselves and our humanness allows us to cope better with the stresses in life. I hope that you will consider continuing to read The Perkolator, understanding that we are only joking and mean no offense.
      Best Regards.
      Brian G

We invite your comments and suggestions:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *