“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man try to wrap a Christmas gift.” – Unknown
A Santa Claus at the shopping mall was amazed when a young lady, Emily, aged about 20 years old, walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ ‘Something for my mother, please,’ replied Emily sweetly. ‘Something for your mother? Well, that’s very loving and thoughtful of you,’ smiled Santa. ‘What do would you like me to bring her?’ Without turning a hair, Emily answered quickly, ‘A son-in-law.’
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter Janet’s plane to land. Janet had just come back from abroad, trying to find adventure for a year. As Janet was exiting the plane, mom noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. Janet introduced this man as her new husband. Mom gasped out loud and screamed, ‘I said for you to marry a Doctor.…… a RICH Doctor!’
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year old’s natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?”
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Aries Mar. 21-Apr. 19: Your actions draw some criticism. Instead of defending yourself, try reviewing your behaviour. Determine if you could have done better.
Taurus Apr. 20- May 20: Gather your team together and get yourselves on the same page. When you present your idea, it will be unified.
Gemini May 21-June 20: Before spending at the Boxing Day sales, make sure the bills are all paid. Don’t spend more than you can afford.
Cancer June 21- July 22: Now that you have taken care of the needs of a loved one, take care of yourself, enjoy the festivities.
Leo July 23-Aug. 22: It’s time to determine what is most important to you. Is it what others think or, is it what you actually know.
Virgo Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Relax, enjoy some time with family and old friends. Catch up on the news and relive old memories of good times.
Libra Sept. 23-Oct 22: Laughter is the best medicine. Shake off those blues, get together with others, and those smiles will soon turn to laughter.
Scorpio Oct.23-Nov.21: Your current project is coming to an end. Wrap it up now, then move ahead with a new venture in 2021.
Sagittarius Nov.22- Dec.21: The year ends with a bang for you. A new romantic interest could spark some extra excitement. Hold on tight.
Capricorn Dec.22-Jan.19: Your partner’s choice may not be what you would have chosen. Don’t take issue with it. Sit back and enjoy.
Aquarius Jan.20-Feb.18: Your family does appreciate all the effort you put in to make the holidays fun. Take pride in what you do.
Pisces Feb. 19-Mar.20: Family can be trying at times. But remember that they love you, and you love them. Be thankful for them.
Canadian airline WestJet delivered holiday cheer for 250 passengers on a flight to Calgary. The airline placed a digital Santa Claus at an airport and asked passengers what they wanted for Christmas. While everyone was in the air, 175 WestJet workers sprinted to nearby stores. They bought everything they asked the ‘WestJet Santa’ for, from pairs of socks and underwear to big-screen TVs. When the passengers arrived at their destination, everyone was met with their dream gift at baggage claim. This isn’t the first time WestJet has whipped out the holiday cheer, either. Last year, a flash mob of 150 volunteers performed a merry dance in the waiting area for a red-eye flight, complete with Santa on the tarmac and stockings stuffed with new iPods.
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?…….. Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird that lives an ordered and complicated life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life and maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. When a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, family members and social circles have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.””Freeze a jolly good fellow.
“You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
The judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones, do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” “I do.” “What do you say to defend yourself?” “Your Honor, under those limitations … nothing.”
I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.” He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. “They’re last year’s,” he said. “I forgot to mail them. Now let’s go out to dinner.”
Consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one will say individually