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June 02, 2021
Positively Speaking by B.G.
Developing Your Senses – Part One
We all are aware of the five senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. Some also believe in a “sixth sense” called intuition, which seems to be a more keenly developed sense in a woman.
There is, however, another group of senses that we need to develop to ensure our continued growth and development as human beings. This same group of ‘senses’ will also allow us to be successful in all aspects of our lives and develop the strengths and characteristics of a truly successful person.
- A Sense of Purpose: There must be a reason to do something. We must have a goal to achieve, a direction to follow. A sense of purpose will be the spur that motivates you, the burning desire that lies within you, very often buried in the rubble of everyday struggles.
- A Sense of Dependency: Whatever we achieve in life can only come about with the help and co-operation of others. If we realize this and develop the ‘sense,’ it will allow us to surround ourselves with those helping us achieve our dreams and objectives. This ‘sense’ will govern how we treat others, how we speak to them and how they respond to us. When we recognize our dependency on others, we will grow faster and go further as human beings.
- A Sense of Humility: Recognize that others deserve much of the praise for our success no matter how good we think we are. There are far greater forces at play in our lives than we know and very often care to admit. Humility is not a weakness but a strength that will allow us to soar to even greater heights. Humility requires great strength of character that others will recognize and be attracted to it.
We will look at the other four senses next week.
Only In Ireland
Murphy walks into a pub holding up a sack. “Anyone who can guess how many ducks I have in this sack can have both of them for a pint,” said Murphy. “Three,” said Flanagan. “That’s near enough,” says Murphy.
No Boys (or Girls) Called Sue Here!
Among the babies born in Houston, Texas were boys with the first names Aa’den, Z’yun, Goodness, Godswill, Clever, Handsome, Sir Genius and Dallas Cowboys. Girls’ names included Gorgeousg’zaiya, A’Miracle, Dae’Gorgeous and Praisegod.
How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting Flies,” he responded. “Oh, killing any?” she asked. “Yep, three males, two females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”
Editors Quote Book
EDITORS NOTE: This is genuinely a quote for OUR times.
Trivia Quiz
(Click Question For Answer)
Your Horoscope
For Amusement Only
ARIES Mar. 21-Apr. 19: A good friend leaves. Throw a big going away party and wish him well. Plan to stay in touch.
TAURUS Apr. 20-May 20: Secret love makes his/her presence known. You will be in for a big surprise. Reserve comments for a later date.
GEMINI May 21-June 20: An incredible revelation creates havoc among co-workers. You will have to temper your remarks with caution. Be patient.
CANCER June 21-July 22: A haphazard idea takes root, and you try out your unusual inspiration on another. Be prepared for a letdown.
LEO July 23-Aug 22: Love interest becomes more stable. You can let down your guard and relax. Not everyone is going to disappoint you.
VIRGO Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Strut your stuff! Show those in high places that you can do the job. Give your natural self-esteem a boost, and go for it.
LIBRA Sept. 23-Oct. 22: The results are in. You’ve got the go-ahead. Do your homework and make your first move count.
SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Health problems surface. Get help immediately. Don’t allow your body to suffer any longer than is necessary. Pray.
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Display your wares with care. Not everyone will be as enamoured with your creative genius as you might think.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Begin a private journal. The next few years will be worth recording. Your grandchildren will be grateful as well as amazed.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Your most arduous efforts appear to be in vain. Don’t despair. In time, your day will come.
PISCES Feb. 19-Mar. 20: Your credit rating slips. Ask for a copy and seek help from a professional. You can reorganize your debt and rebuild.
From Submitted Resumes
“Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.”
“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”
“I procrastinate – especially when the task is unpleasant.”
Physical Disabilities: “Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.”
Personal Interests: “Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
Small typo’s that change the meaning: “Education: College, August 1880 – May 1984.”
“Work Experience: Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.”
“Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.”
“I’m a rabid typist.”
“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.”
Fuzzy Thinking
Maureen Reed, 41, was charged with DWI in Lockport, N.Y. after arriving at a police station inebriated. She got into an altercation with two others at the Niagara Hotel and left to go press charges. The police station is about 200 feet from the hotel, but Reed unwisely decided to drive her car there instead of walking.
From Letters To British Landlords
- I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
- My lavatory seat is cracked; where do I stand?
- I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
- Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and now she is pregnant.
- I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
- 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
- The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bath the children until it is clear.
- Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
- Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it
This Week In History
June 5, 1964: David Jones and The King Bees released their first record, “Liza Jane,” on the Vocalion Records of Great Britain label. Less than ten years later, Jones became better known as David Bowie.
The Boss
A rather grumpy boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the man completed the job, the boss explained that, due to an error, the hole isn’t required. “Fill ‘er up,” he barked. The worker did what the boss told him to do. But he ran into a problem. He couldn’t get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted. “It should be obvious to you. There’s only one thing to do. You’ll have to dig the hole deeper!”
The Last Word
The most satisfying work you can do is…helping others!