Christmas is coming, and a man needs help with his shopping for gifts. To get closer to his Creator, the man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai. Looking up, he asks the Creator, “What does a million years mean to you?” The Creator replies, “A minute.” The man then asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?” The Creator answers, “A penny.” The man hesitates and then asks, “Well, Can I have a penny?” To which the Creator replies, “In a minute.”
My wife had been giving me hints for weeks about her birthday present. Finally, the day before her birthday, she said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds.” ‘Okay, I said, I’ve got the hint.” Was she ever surprised when I gave her a bathroom scale.
“Speak to children as though they are the wisest, kindest,
most beautiful and magical persons on earth.
For what they believe, they will become”
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For Amusement Only
ARIES Mar. 21-Apr. 19: A social activity can garner big rewards. Take the opportunity to network with those who have influence.
TAURUS Apr. 20-May 20: A co-worker asks a favour of you. Your time is already committed, so don’t be afraid to say NO.
GEMINI May 21-June 20: The season will be filled with good fortune for you. Don’t be afraid to look to the future, be daring.
CANCER June 21-July 22: A particular request is made of you. Think very carefully before you agree to do anything.
LEO July 23-Aug 22: A secret will be exposed to you. But you will have to look beyond the obvious to reveal it.
VIRGO Aug. 23-Sept. 22: When opportunity knocks, open the door. If it’s what you really, really want, don’t hesitate, go for it
LIBRA Sept. 23-Oct. 22: A new career may get off to a rocky start. Don’t let the challenges deter you. Persevere.
SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Your talents are being recognized. It’s now up to you. Don’t just put them back in the closet.
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21: A close friend is too close to be objective. Seek counsel from one who can be impartial.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Shoulder your responsibilities with grace. Don’t demean others, instead encourage them to be better.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Romance may not be in the cards at this time. Don’t fret; the new year has many opportunities in store.
PISCES Feb. 19-Mar. 20: You finally wrap up a time-consuming project that has taken too long. Welcome the change it brings.
A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to go with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. So we’ll be gone for a long weekend. This is an excellent opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting. So could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend…..
And also, would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?
We’re leaving at 4:30 pm from the office, and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.. ‘Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas..’
The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does just what her husband asks.
Following the long weekend, he came home a little tired but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he had caught any fish? He says, ‘Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. He said, “but why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas as I asked you to do?” The wife replies, “I did. They’re in your tackle box”.
KFC has been the ultimate Japanese Christmas food since December 1974. Just four years after the first KFC store arrived in Japan. Today, around 3.6 million Japanese people tuck into a feast of the Colonel’s fried chicken specialties every Christmas. Now known by its catchy slogan, ‘Kentucky for Christmas!
Almost every year since she was a child, Hokkaido resident Naomi, has looked forward to her family’s traditional Christmas meal: a KFC “party barrel.” Brimming with salad, cake and lots of fried chicken. “In Japan, it is customary to eat chicken at Christmas,” says the 30-something Japanese woman.
KFC Christmas dinner is so popular that if you want to eat in on Christmas Day, you need to make reservations, and you will see line-ups outside most, if not all, locations.
Two little old ladies were discussing their husbands over tea. “I wish George would stop biting his nails,” said one. “He makes me terribly nervous.” “My Bob used to do the same thing,” the other woman replied. “But I broke him of the habit.” “How?” “I hid his teeth.”
When you count your blessings each day,
you tend to forget about the things you don’t have.