“Every moment of the year has its own beauty.”
— Emerson.
A grandmother is watching her grandson play on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She looks up and pleads, “Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.” Then a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says, “He had a hat!
“Cuts No Ice” – meaning: Makes little or no impression
Derivation: From an ineffective ship that could not make much progress in the Autumn pack ice of the Baltic sea.
“Don’t Like the Cut of His Jib” – meaning: Put off by a person’s outer appearance.
Derivation: The jib was a triangular sail on the foremast and an indicator of the type of ship, and sometimes, nationality. French and Spanish ships often had their jibs cut a lot higher than British ships.
“Mainstay” – meaning: Someone of great help and support.
Derivation: In a sailing ship, a stay is part of the standing rigging that supports a mast. A mainstay is a crucial part of any sailing ship.
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For Amusement Only
Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19: You’ve come from behind and won before, Aries. This is one of those times BUT don’t let up on the gas!
Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20: There are any number of ways for you to proceed at this time. Pick one. If the wheels fall off, pick another.
Gemini May 21 – June 20: Are you one of the many, Gemini, afraid of success? Of course not! Prove it to everyone … and yourself!
Cancer June 21 – July 22: Are you able to sing the praises of a co-worker to your boss? We get to where WE want to be by doing so!
Leo July 23 – Aug. 22: You won’t need to come on like gangbusters, to have another seriously consider your side. They’re already aware.
Virgo Aug. 23 – Sept. 22: Consider an activity/career that exposes your hidden talents and gifts, then go sell your ideas to others.
Libra Sept. 23 – Oct. 22: Continue with what you’re doing a wee bit longer. Change is coming. Don’t let others talk you out of it.
Scorpio Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: Along comes a spider and sits down beside ya. Don’t be afraid of a current threat, but proceed … gingerly.
Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21: It takes 2 to tango, so be aware of who’s pulling their weight and who isn’t. Act accordingly.
Capricorn Dec. 22 – Jan. 19: There was a time when no one could beat you down, Capricorn. Retrace what worked then and carry on.
Aquarius Jan. 20 – Feb. 18: Pull up your socks, Aquarian! You know what needs to be done to reach your goal[s]. Get it done!
Pisces Feb. 19 – Mar. 20: Pick a day to do nothing but what YOU want to do – no chores – no work – no contact with others, if necessary.
* “Stay Off the Tracks! They are only for trains. If you can read this, you’re not a train!”
* “To avoid injury, don’t tell me how to do my job!”
* “Emergency phone NOT installed here. Please do not have an emergency at this location.”
* “No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.”
When pouring tea into a cup, what is the proper etiquette – milk first, then tea, or tea first, then milk? Good question! Back in the day, the rich could afford good china. As a result, the tea cup could withstand the sudden change of temperature, whereas the china of the poor and working class, being of inferior quality, could not. So, if you were rich … tea first. If you were not … milk first. Fortunately, these days it’s no longer a safety issue. – Source: Charles the Butler
* Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.
* Psychiatrist to patient: “So, you have fits of rage, followed by temporary spells of euphoria, all within several hours. Are you by chance a golfer?”
* If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun!
* 70% of planet Earth is water and virtually none of it is carbonated. Ergo, the Earth is, in fact, flat!
Life is short. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I will.