Midland Penetanguishene January 25, 202331 January 2023
Midland Penetanguishene February 15, 202322 February 2023
February 8, 2023
Editors Quote Book
“Every moment of the year has its own beauty.”
God and the Grandmother
A grandmother is watching her grandson play on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She looks up and pleads, “Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.” Then a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says, “He had a hat!
Business Ethics …
- A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. “Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars’ worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a one hundred dollar bill. But as she goes out the door, you realize she’s given you 2 hundred dollar bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: Should you or should you NOT tell your partner?”
- Two business partners are having lunch. One suddenly bolts up, “I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe.” The other partner responds, “What are you worried about? We’re both here.”
Old Nautical Terms Used Today
“Cuts No Ice” – meaning: Makes little or no impression
Derivation: From an ineffective ship that could not make much progress in the Autumn pack ice of the Baltic sea.
“Don’t Like the Cut of His Jib” – meaning: Put off by a person’s outer appearance.
Derivation: The jib was a triangular sail on the foremast and an indicator of the type of ship, and sometimes, nationality. French and Spanish ships often had their jibs cut a lot higher than British ships.
“Mainstay” – meaning: Someone of great help and support.
Derivation: In a sailing ship, a stay is part of the standing rigging that supports a mast. A mainstay is a crucial part of any sailing ship.
(Click Question For Answer)
For Amusement Only
Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19: You’ve come from behind and won before, Aries. This is one of those times BUT don’t let up on the gas!
Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20: There are any number of ways for you to proceed at this time. Pick one. If the wheels fall off, pick another.
Gemini May 21 – June 20: Are you one of the many, Gemini, afraid of success? Of course not! Prove it to everyone … and yourself!
Cancer June 21 – July 22: Are you able to sing the praises of a co-worker to your boss? We get to where WE want to be by doing so!
Leo July 23 – Aug. 22: You won’t need to come on like gangbusters, to have another seriously consider your side. They’re already aware.
Virgo Aug. 23 – Sept. 22: Consider an activity/career that exposes your hidden talents and gifts, then go sell your ideas to others.
Libra Sept. 23 – Oct. 22: Continue with what you’re doing a wee bit longer. Change is coming. Don’t let others talk you out of it.
Scorpio Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: Along comes a spider and sits down beside ya. Don’t be afraid of a current threat, but proceed … gingerly.
Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21: It takes 2 to tango, so be aware of who’s pulling their weight and who isn’t. Act accordingly.
Capricorn Dec. 22 – Jan. 19: There was a time when no one could beat you down, Capricorn. Retrace what worked then and carry on.
Aquarius Jan. 20 – Feb. 18: Pull up your socks, Aquarian! You know what needs to be done to reach your goal[s]. Get it done!
Pisces Feb. 19 – Mar. 20: Pick a day to do nothing but what YOU want to do – no chores – no work – no contact with others, if necessary.
* “Stay Off the Tracks! They are only for trains. If you can read this, you’re not a train!”
* “To avoid injury, don’t tell me how to do my job!”
* “Emergency phone NOT installed here. Please do not have an emergency at this location.”
* “No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.”
When pouring tea into a cup, what is the proper etiquette – milk first, then tea, or tea first, then milk? Good question! Back in the day, the rich could afford good china. As a result, the tea cup could withstand the sudden change of temperature, whereas the china of the poor and working class, being of inferior quality, could not. So, if you were rich … tea first. If you were not … milk first. Fortunately, these days it’s no longer a safety issue. – Source: Charles the Butler
Odds and Ends
* Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.
* Psychiatrist to patient: “So, you have fits of rage, followed by temporary spells of euphoria, all within several hours. Are you by chance a golfer?”
* If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun!
* 70% of planet Earth is water and virtually none of it is carbonated. Ergo, the Earth is, in fact, flat!
The Last Word
Life is short. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I will.