September 17, 2025

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BG’s Positively Speaking

Can You Hear Me Now?

How many times have you felt like screaming, “I can’t Hear Myself Think?” For most people, the answer would be “Often”. In our lives, we are constantly bombarded by noise: TVs, iPods, phones, air conditioners, fans, cars & trucks, power tools, lawn mowers & tractors. These are just a few of the noises that invade our lives and rob us of our ability to think. We also have to cope with work, family, money, sex, neighbours, associates and friends. With all this “static” in our lives, it’s no wonder we can’t hear ourselves think. And when we can’t hear ourselves think, we lose our ability to be creative and move forward. The question is “What can we do about it?” Well, here are a few tips:-

Clear the Static: Take some quiet time and find a room in the house where you can shut out all the noise and distractions. Take a drive into the country, alone, sit by a lake or riverside. But you say, “I don’t have time.” Make Time! You cannot continue to be like a one-ton van carrying two tons of canaries – you’re OK as long as half of them stay in the air, sooner or later, they will all want to rest. Deal with the static before it “deals” with you.

Turn On: Open up the lines, clear the tracks, and ensure your batteries are fully charged. Switch your life “on” and listen to yourself thinking. Tune in to your inner self, discover the real you. “Tune out” all the distractions that life’s “static” has delivered.

Stay Tuned In: To your goals, dreams and ambitions, as well as those of your family. Stop worrying about what others think. Let go of past mistakes; there is no future in the past, only more stagnation. Meditate, prioritize, listen to that “inner voice.”

Now, You’ll Be Able To Hear Yourself Think!

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Food For Thought

Stephen Baldwin worked in a pizza parlour,

Jean-Claude Van Damme delivered pizzas,

Bill Murray was a pizza maker,

Madonna worked at Dunkin’ Donuts,

Julia Roberts worked in an ice cream parlour,

Queen Latifah worked at Burger King,

Andie McDowell worked at McDonald’s, as did Quintin Tarentino,

Jennifer Aniston worked as a waitress in a burger cafe.

There’s hope for all of us!

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Editors Quote Book

“Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving

— Warren Buffett

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The Comforting Husband

 A couple were sleeping soundly when the wife had a bad dream and woke up scared and crying. Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried. She replied, “I had a dream that a wealthy and handsome man kidnapped me from you.” Husband: “It is OK, honey, it was just a dream.” The wife responded loudly: “That’s why I’m crying.”

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A Short Conversation

Bob’s wife was very talkative; she would talk with people for hours. Bob was worried about the massive telephone bills he got at the end of each month. One day, they were having dinner when the phone rang. His wife reacted immediately…she ran to the phone and started chatting. After about 30 minutes, she hung up and came back to the table. Bob was happy that she had hung up in 30 minutes. She usually talks for at least 2 2-hours. So he happily inquired why she had hung up so quickly. His wife promptly replied, “It was a wrong number.”

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Trivia Quiz

(Click Question For Answer)

 

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Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19:  Beware of falling into a depression. Stay busy, talk with friends and loved ones. Above all, have a good laugh.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20:   A close family member asks for your expertise. Make sure they know that you feel honoured to be asked.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You may be eligible for benefits you are unaware of. Investigate the possibilities before making a decision.

Cancer Jun 21 – Jul 22:   A reorganization could mean a change of scene. Be open to new possibilities that this will present to you.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22:    A person of influence could entice you into making bad decisions. Exercise caution and seek the advice of someone you trust.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22:      Goals change, and you need to take stock of yours. Make the necessary adjustments and move forward boldly.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22:  Get your facts straight before making demands of others. You don’t want to end up with ‘egg on your face’.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21:   Life is full of great experiences if we keep an open mind. Your openness could be delivering some of your way.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21:    The question you seek an answer for could be answered. However, be prepared for an answer that may not be what you want.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19:   Life is all about change. To change, we must grow. Growing is learning. Are you ready?

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18:   Spiritual guidance will be your best compass. Blind faith is always preferable to that of complete sighted ignorance.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20:   Stick to your tried and true routines. This is not a time to try out new things. Stay with what you have.

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Criminal Hall Of Shame

From time to time, though, we hear of those who strive to achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law. To these brave “women and men,” we present the highest possible honour: entry into the “Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame.”

Following are their escapades …..

Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled–leaving his wallet on the counter.

England: A German “tourist,” supposedly on a golf holiday, showed up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realized that the tourist did not know what a “handicap” was. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does — backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Germany: Oil of Olay no longer doing the trick for her, a woman decided to bathe in camel milk (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she stole a camel from the local zoo (where else can you find a camel when you need one?) and transported it back to her house, where she realized that the camel’s name was “Otto.”

Arizona: A company called “Guns For Hire” stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband killed. She received a 4 1/2-year jail sentence.

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This Weeks Video, Sound Effects

Go to full screen, turn up the sound and be amazed!

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More Criminal Hall Of Shame

Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court with a forged cheque. He got 10 years.

France: A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a plastic garbage bag face mask over his head–and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole–are you ready for this?–the bank’s video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)

(Location Unknown)A man broke into a bank’s basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty severely. So he located a phone and dialled “911” for help.

Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, and so on, they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy for them to move. Banging up more walls, floors, and so on, they put the fridge back into the house and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they had locked the keys in the car, so they abandoned it

(Halifax, N.S.)A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the money from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. What was the total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

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Who Knew

Bubble gum was invented in 1906 and was initially called ‘ BLIBBER BLIBBER’.

• The Japanese use bubble wrap for insulation and soundproofing in homes.
• Pound for pound, women can absorb 30% more alcohol into their system than men.

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The Last Word

Have you ever wondered why Americans have 50 choices for Miss America
and only 2 choices for President?

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