January 21, 2025


On The Upside with Marley

Meet your fears head on!

Conquering your fears is one of the most transformative things a person can do. Fear is a natural reaction meant to protect us, but when it controls our choices, it limits our lives. By facing what scares us, we take back control over our thoughts, actions, and direction. Each step taken toward a fear, no matter how small, shows us we are stronger than the stories our minds create. This journey builds confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean you lack fear; it means you know you can move forward despite it. When you prove to yourself that discomfort is manageable, challenges start to look like opportunities instead of threats.

This space fosters resilience, teaching you to recover and keep going when life pushes back. Conquering fear also broadens your sense of possibility. Dreams that once seemed distant become achievable. Relationships improve when you’re no longer trapped by the fear of rejection. Careers progress when you’re willing to risk failure for growth.

Even simple pleasures become more fulfilling when you engage fully with the world. Ultimately, facing fear is a way to show yourself respect. It says, “My life is too valuable to be ruled by what could go wrong.” Each time you confront a fear, you don’t just gain courage; you also gain freedom. Freedom is the base upon which a meaningful, authentic, and empowered life is built. It helps you trust your ability to handle uncertainty, learn from setbacks, and keep moving even when the outcome is unclear. Over time, this way of thinking changes how you view yourself: not as someone limited, but as someone capable of growth, courage, and ongoing transformation, no matter what lies ahead. The journey itself becomes the reward, revealing strength you never thought you had.

Improve your life by mastering your fears


Suck In Your Gut

Standing on the scale, as I do every morning, I took a deep breath and sucked in my gut.  My husband says “Sucking in your gut on the scales won’t change anything”  I said, “Sure it does, it allows me to see the numbers!”


My Dogs, The Unmentionables

Someone asked me what the names of my dogs were, to which I replied “Calvin and Klein”.. A little perplexed, they then said, “Wait, isn’t that a brand of underwear?” to which I replied Yes but they’re both boxers.


Who Is This Extremely Handsome 15 Year Old?

(Hover or Click For Answer)

george1george2

 


Editors Quote Book

“Everyone is an Atheist until they clog a toilet in someone else’s home”

Unknown


Trivia Quiz Eh!

(Click Question For Answer)


1. In what year did Canada officially become a country through Confederation?
1867.

2. What is the name of the longest river system in Canada?
The Mackenzie River system.

3. Which Canadian city hosted the first modern Olympic Games held in Canada?
Montreal, in 1976.

4. What is the only Canadian province with a majority French-speaking population?
Quebec.

5. What animal appears on the Canadian five-cent coin?
The beaver.

6. Which group built the ancient settlement of L’Anse aux Meadows in Newfoundland?
The Norse (Vikings), around the year 1000.

7. What is the highest mountain in Canada?
Mount Logan, in the Yukon.

8. What year did the Canadian flag with the maple leaf officially become the national flag?
1965.


Your Horoscope

For Amusement Only

Aries Mar. 21 – Apr. 19: A new opportunity may present itself when you least expect it. Trust your instincts and be ready to act with confidence.

Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20: Patience will be required when dealing with a close associate. A calm approach will bring the results you are hoping for.

Gemini May 21 – June 20: Communication is highlighted now. Speak openly and honestly, and you may clear up a lingering misunderstanding.

Cancer June 21 – July 22: Take time to nurture yourself emotionally. A quiet moment of reflection will restore your balance and peace of mind.

Leo July 23 – Aug 22: Your leadership qualities are noticed by others. Step forward, but remember that listening is just as powerful as speaking.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22: Organization will be your strength today. Tackle unfinished tasks and enjoy the satisfaction of seeing progress made.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22: A compromise may be necessary in a personal matter. Fairness and diplomacy will help maintain harmony.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21: Your intuition is strong now. Pay attention to subtle signs and trust what your inner voice is telling you.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21: A change of routine could lift your spirits. Embrace spontaneity and allow yourself a little adventure.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19: Responsibilities may feel heavy, but steady effort will bring long-term rewards. Stay focused on your goals.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18: An innovative idea could spark interest from others. Share your vision and be open to collaboration.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20: Sensitivity will deepen your connections. Offer kindness freely and you will receive warmth and support in return.



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Iconic Teen Valedictorian Speech

 


Church Bulletin Failures

“If you need to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.”
“The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.”
“Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.”
“Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.”
“The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.”
“Maundy Thursday service: The ladies of the altar guild will be stripping on the altar.”
“The associate minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.'”

 


Dead Ringer

A man died and went to Heaven. St. Peter says to him, “Before you meet with God, I should tell you, we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest, you really didn’t do anything particularly good or wrong. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?” The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a little old lady who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip and skull tattoos everywhere. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this lady or they would have to deal with me!” “Wow, that’s impressive. When did this happen?” “About three minutes ago,” he replies.


World Cup Funeral

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks the guy on the other side of the empty seat if someone will be sitting there. The guy shakes his head and says, “No. The seat’s empty.” The man can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Finals and not use it?” The other guy says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first World Cup Final we haven’t been too together since we got married.” The man says, “I’m so sorry to hear that, buddy. That’s terrible… But couldn’t you find someone else to come with you? A friend, a relative, or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”


How to skip the tab!

At the bar, order a shot and place your hat over it on the counter. Then bet someone the tab that you can drink the shot without touching the hat. Hold your hands near it (but don’t touch), stare intensely like you’re performing a magic trick, and finally declare, “I did it.”

When the other person inevitably lifts the hat to check whether the shot is gone, simply grab the glass, drink it, and say, “See? I never touched the hat.”


This Day In History

1966: Quiet Beatle George Harrison (22) weds British model Pattie Boyd (21) in Surrey, England, Paul serves as best man.
1978:  The Bee Gees album “Saturday Night Fever goes #1 and stays for 24 weeks.
1990: John McEnroe becomes the first player to be expelled from the Australian Open.

 


The Last Word

We are never the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love.
It’s a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person!


11 Comments

  1. YKW McKenna says:

    And our heartfelt thanx to you, Brian Garvey for coming up with the PERK idea 30 years ago. I and many others have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the publication for hopefully years to come.
    I commend you!

  2. Dave says:

    WELL DONE !
    The May 1st edition was the best I’ve read since becoming a follower. Positively Speaking……logical and smack on, the quiz, difficult but for the first time ever I’m 8 for 8! The bog island vid…who’d a thunk?
    I can’t be all positive though.
    The sand which board with I b4 e was a tough one for my aging eyes.
    Lastly, could your font be slightly larger with the adds just a wee bit smaller.
    So many magazines, internet articles, etc have yet to learn that their main audience is aging and eyes are not what they were of days past.
    Keep up the good work.
    PS: Adds work. I’ve used more than one company you’ve listed with total satisfaction (politicians excepted)

    • MGraphics says:

      Hi Dave. Firstly thanks so much for the comments. I’m not the writer of this stuff just the web guy. While reading anything that you find is too small on the internet generally all you need to do is hit your Control and the plus key or minus key together to increase or decrease the size of things. I’m afraid if we reduce the ads any smaller they won’t be readable and of course it’s due to their investment in the Perkolator that the publication can actually exist 🙂 Happy Spring.

  3. Howard Brooks says:

    Today’s edition is the same as last weeks.

  4. Clara says:

    Please don’t change anything, I look forward to my weekly paper

  5. YKW McKenna says:

    Why, when I’m already a subscriber must the pop up SUBSCRIBE for double your pleasure pop up in the first place? Oh, I just realized, you can’t have pop ups in your printed newsletter.
    Silly me.

  6. Jessica Thibodeau says:

    Lately your articles seem to be very anti-woman. I’m most certainly going to stop reading!

    • Brian Garvey says:

      Good day Jessica. I do hope that you are still reading The Perkolator. Although you don’t say which articles you found objectionable, I can assure you that we, at The Perkolator, are not anti-women. In fact, if we look back to past issues men are the Butt of more jokes and stories than are women. In our world we need to find the humour in our words, habits, situations, and actions more often, whether we are male of female. The ability to laugh at ourselves and our humanness allows us to cope better with the stresses in life. I hope that you will consider continuing to read The Perkolator, understanding that we are only joking and mean no offense.
      Best Regards.
      Brian G

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